


strong for you.

by bitchy_richie



Category: IT 2017
Genre: Developed Relationship, Leukemia, M/M, Sickness, cheesy promposal, eddie is actually sick, loss of loved one(s), richie deserves better, richie is STRONG and RESPONSIBLE, richie works multiple jobs, richie's mom passes away, sad sad sad but a very heartfelt ending, sentimental/heartfelt ending, sweet ole supportive friends, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 19:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12489300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchy_richie/pseuds/bitchy_richie
Summary: angst fic involving the losers but focusing mainly on richie's life. poor kid doesn't deserve this i am so sorry. very sad but bittersweet. -z





	strong for you.

nobody ever really understood richie tozier.  
the closest person to ever come was eddie kaspbrak.  
by that, nobody is shocked.

nobody ever knew why richie acted out. he lived with the assumptions people made about him, just another arrogant class clown here to make a fool of himself. richie prided himself on this, because it meant that he didnt go unnoticed like he did at home.

he loved his friends, more than he thought he could ever love anyone.  
bev with her beautiful locks, strong personality, brave heart.  
ben with his books, his smarts and kindness was more than appreciated.  
stan with his sassy side, always ready with a comeback against richie. he lived for it, just as stan lived to be clean and organized.  
mike with his deeply admired strength, his ability to hold himself together and be steady during rough times, oh, how richie wished he could be like this.  
bill with his dedication, never ever backing away from a fight. he was strong and perservering, truly the greatest leader known to richie.  
and eddie. oh, how he loved eddie. his short shorts and curly hair, his personality so bright and different. he stuck up out the ground like a beautiful tree in a field of sunflowers. there wasn't a single thing richie didn't love about eddie, nothing at all.

richie was always seen as childish, obnoxious, lazy, and a little too outspoken. all of derry knows of this to be true, but eddie kaspbrak saw him in a different light. all of the losers did, but eddie knew why.

eddie knew his parents were shitty. they all did, but eddie knew the heart wrenching details. he knew how his parents ignored his needs, didnt buy enough food for him to eat while they were out, how his mother was killing herself slowly with the amount of alcohol she consumed, how his father was hardly ever home, because he was far too busy with other women.

they knew he was neglected by his parents. they knew he wasn't supplied with what he needed for school and for life. they knew he wasn't happy at home. they each showed him love in as many different ways, in ways special to each of them, that they could.

richie tozier kept the strongest façade. he hid his emotions to everyone, even his friends. only in the most private and desperate situations would he let his guard down.

what they didn't know is that he would come home from school and see his father gone and his mother passed out drunk in her own puke. these days, he would run up to his room and throw his stuff down. he'd slam his door and the drawers of his bureau, throwing stuff around in fits of anger. he'd sit in his closet and cry, just cry until he fell asleep. some nights it'd be so bad that he'd just walk out. he always found himself walking in one direction. he couldn't stop himself. every time, he walked straight to eddie's house and climb up to his window. each time, despite his mother being strict, he'd let him in through the window with open arms. sometimes richie would rant until he cried so much he couldn't get a full sentence out. other times, eddie would pull him onto his bed and wrap his arms around him, tucking richie's head under his chin and rubbing his back until they eventually fell asleep like that. 

it wasn't until their sophomore year at derry high school when richie's father stopped coming home completely. it had been a full month and a half since richie had seen him last, until he had shown up one day at the school. he waited outside by the bike rack until the bell rang. his eyes widened when he stepped outside and witnessed his father talking to the rest of the losers, he didn't even want to imagine what kind of conversation they were having. he raced towards them all, and they gave him a look. a look of sorrow and pity. he looked up at his father as if to say 'what's going on?' but before he could say anything his father spoke. richie didn't know what to expect, but he said nothing until his father's deep, intimidating voice spoke. the words 'alcohol poisoning' was just enough for richie to understand. his mother had gone too far. he inhaled, gently pushing his friends off of him as he started off. he walked for a bit, speeding up into an eventual run. he ignored his bike, and he ignored the names calling after him. he ran and ran until he reached somewhere he could sit and let it all out.

he ran to the barrens, and it was no doubt that his friends would eventually follow him there, although being as they didn't immediately follow he assumed they recognized the idea that he would want a little bit of space before they try and console him.

his father moved back after that, but he still took to "late nights at work" and didn't purchase nearly enough food.

a few weeks had gone by after the news was broken to him. richie decided to step up to the plate and take care of himself.

he started by getting a job. it was rearing into the end of sophomore year, right about summertime. he had begun working at the local record shop, a place where he loved to go alone and just chill. it was a few months past his sixteenth birthday, so he could actually be paid to work now.

he picked up a second job too, working concessions for the local baseball games. bill had joined derry's baseball team, so his friends would go and show support. any games richie wasn't working, he would be right there with them. of course, him working two jobs meant he couldn't always make it to the losers' hangouts, but they understood and were glad that he was taking a step forward.

one thing that killed him though, was not being able to spend as much time with eddie. by this time, he had realized that he was head over heels in love with his best friend. there was nothing stopping that, but nothing pushing it either. pretty much everyone knew that richie was gay, and eddie was too, and there was no doubt that they were practically attached at the hip. they were best friends, and had been since they were years younger. they bickered less now, but were more affectionate and caring towards eachother. when either of them would have a bad night, richie would climb up his window and into his room. it happened a lot more frequently now. they would hold hands and press soft kisses to their intertwined fingers or eachother's foreheads. they were sweet, and all of the losers supported them. they weren't pushing any sort of label on them either, which they both seemed to appreciate. they weren't an item at the time, but everyone knew not to mess with or flirt with one of them and not expect the other to pop up out of the ground as if they were there the whole time. they were in a sweet state of equilibrium within eachother. 

eddie always saw richie as a bit of a slob to say the least, but he knew through it all how responsible he really was. he also knew that the reason he tried to get detention on days when he didn't have plans with the losers or when he didn't have a shift to take after school it was so that he didn't have to go home and face that responsibility. 

richie didn't make mom jokes anymore. people thought that was weird, but then word got around that his mother had passed and nobody mentioned it. 

he had hit another growth spurt, and was a solid 6'3. the tallest of the losers, followed by bill and mike, both at 6'1. his face had slimmed, jawline as sharp as ever. he was a handsome man, and everyone knew. a little too far on the thin side, but the refreshing looks of healthiness and youth grazed his lanky body. his unruly hair, thick tuffs of black curls that made it halfway down his neck framed his face perfectly. although he'd never admit it, eddie really thought 'handsome' was an understatement.

things had gotten better for richie. he picked up a third job at the grocery store, and sometimes would have to miss school to work. when the baseball season ended, he didnt hesitate to pick up yet another doing whatever was available. 

once he had saved up enough money, richie purchased a used car. it was ugly, but it was richie. bill and mike both had cars as well and he wasn't usually the one to drive the losers everywhere, but he would drive by eddie's house about three times and park a few houses down late at night, eddie would carefully climb out his window and would sneak through the neighbor's yards to meet richie in his car. 

they had become more of an item, the two of them. still no official titles, but everyone pretty much knew they were together. when it came time for junior prom, richie didn't hesitate finding the cheesiest way to ask eddie to go with him. 

bill had scored a job at the local movie theater. the losers went there all the time. richie had spent months planning this with bill and bev in secret when he was off and eddie was out working his job at the flower shop down the street. he got the rest of the losers in on the plan, and with all their combined effort he created the most memorable 'promposal' in the history of ever.

he created a ten minute long slideshow of videos and photos from the losers. there were some of all of them together, some of just richie and eddie, and a bunch of candid photos taken by all of them collectively when eddie wasn't looking. one day, they would all go to the theater as if they were watching a regular movie with 'free tickets'. after doing some talking with ms. edna, rhe owner of the flower shop eddie worked at, he bought a handful of flowers said to be his favorite. instead of a movie, he played the slideshow. at the end, he asked eddie to prom and handed him the flowers. eddie cried, and of course said yes. the rest of the losers started clapping and screaming, all equally as happy as the two. 

they shared their first real kiss at prom.

during one of the slow songs, richie dragged eddie out to dance. they talked about the prom, their friends, and their future. richie told eddie he loved him, and without thinking, eddie put a hand on richie's structured face and pressed his lips against richie's own. it was short and sweet, but followed by plenty more throughout the night. it was a moment they had both been imagining for years.

it wasn't until the middle of the summer when eddie got sick. this time, it was serious.

eddie broke the news to the losers at the barrens one day. he had stage three leukemia.

that day, richie felt his entire world go cold again. from that day forward, richie did not leave his side. 

he stayed with him through the doctor's visits. he stayed with him through treatment. he stayed with him through days he got so sick that he couldn't even get out of bed. he stayed with him at night, and he was there when he woke up the next morning. he stayed with him through the nightmares of his reality, and the nightmares of his fate. he stayed with him through chemo, and he stayed with him when he had to shave his head.

he stayed with him when they told him that his leukemia had advanced and was now at stage four.

he held him as he sobbed, and he told him he would be okay. he reassured him any time he got self conscious about his hair. he was just as beautiful as ever, and god help him if richie ever let him think otherwise.

the losers stayed with him as he got weaker. not once did they leave, not once did they let their guard down. it was their turn to be strong, because if they were anything other it would kill them all. eddie had everything he wanted in life right there with him, through it all. his friends truly were the greatest he could ever have.

richie wasn't prepared for the day. he wasn't ready for eddie to leave him yet, not that he'd ever be, but the second he saw the heart monitor flatline and eddie's soft, chocolate eyes close in a peacefull bliss, he felt nothing. he knew nothing would ever be the same again.

he screamed. again and again he screamed, violently sobbing like nothing you've ever seen. the doctors came rushing in, security grabbing him by the arms and pulling him out of the room. he couldn't take it, and he knew no number of break ups would amount to how heartbroken he was.

the only person who he truly loved, the only person there for him through it all, the only person who could ever see completely through him. now gone, never to be heard again.

sonia kaspbrak and the rest of the losers ran to the room, richie was sitting outside the door sobbing. they kneeled down and hugged him, staying there for a while. sonia sat in a chair on the other side of the room, wiping away her tears with a hankerchief. when the doctors came back out, she stood up and walked to the group of friends huddled on the floor. she apologized to them, for everything that's happened in the past, and beverly stood up and gave her a hug. soon, the rest followed too, and they all cried.

after breaking apart and walking outside, richie broke the silence. 

"his last words were 'don't call me eds.'"

they looked up at richie and smiled. they gave him the comfort they knew he needed, as he choked back relentless sobs. 

they all went back to bill's house. they sat in his livingroom, until richie got up and went into the bathroom. 

on the counter, he saw a pair of clippers. he assumed that they belonged to bill's father. he plugged them in, and looked at himself in the mirror. smiling slightly, he began to shave off his long black locks. he unplugged it, and went back to his friends.

they looked at richie and each started to cry. they got up and hugged him, feeling greatly for what he did. he shaved his hair for eddie. bill began to walk upstairs, everyone followed. he's always been a leader.

bill turns on the light in the bathroom and walks over to the counter. he plugs in the clippers and he shaves his head.

one by one, the rest of the losers do too. 

ben takes his polaroid camera out of his bag after the retreat back downstairs, and snaps a photo of them all. after the photo processes, he takes a pink sharpie (because pink was eddie's favorite) and writes 'for eddie.' on the back.

the next week at eddie's funeral, everyone claps for them. they feel almost monumental. 

richie looked out and saw his father in the crowd of people. richie could not have been more grateful and more moved to see him.

richie never thought of himself as someone with much strength, but at this moment, he had never felt more strong.

they knew eddie would want them to be strong, and that's exactly what they were going to be. together.

**Author's Note:**

> i cried writing this im sorry
> 
> y'all be glad though my original idea would have been so much worse


End file.
